SharivilleLife stories from Shari

Let me tell you bout my best  friend, sounds like the beginning of a song from an old TV series, for those that remember? I think Eddie’s Father.  My best friends name is Kathy, and our friendship goes back 40 yrs.  During those 4 0 yrs we have built up quite a history and raised a daughter. She was always there for support and advice and love. And now it’s Christmas and we are separate by thousands of miles, due to a medical emergency with Jerry, me here in Texas and she in Chico.  I miss her terribly, I miss the comfort of knowing she’s nearby and that I will see her in the next few days to celebrate the holidays. I miss picking up the phone just to chat, I miss hearing about her canine family, Ginger and Suzy, I miss hearing about George’s newest project.  I just miss my best friend.

I went to work for Kathy as a waitress in her restaurant, Studio Inn, when Angie was a toddler.  those were difficult times for us.  I was in the process of canceling Angie’s father’s contract, divorce, and money just wasn’t there.  The IRS was all about attaching my paycheck for back taxes my X owed, simply because I was apparently easier to find.  Kathy and her family took me under their wing and by ” hook or by crook,” the IRS got paid off.  They paid for uniforms I couldn’t afford and were just there for us esp Kathy.

I worked for Kathy all the while I was in LVN school, she gave me a schedule for work that got it all done.  She was there for support while I went through RN school and training.  She took over parental duties of my daughter while I had to leave town for 2 summers for training.  She was there for her to take care of the mom stuff that Jerry wasn’t up to.  Angie considers Kathy her Godmother.  Thank you Kathy for the good influence you had on Angie.  I couldn’t find a better person to share her with.

How do I cover 40 yrs, I can’t do it here. Our plan was to grow old together, take fun and interesting trips to everywhere.  We did manage to squeeze in a few trips and many many social parties and dinners, including our husbands, Jerry and George , of course.  We spent time cooking for one another, Kathy is a chef  by profession, so guess who got the better deal there.  She was always there though for cooking advice and tips when I needed them.  I can’t remember how many times I had to inquire about what went into that “shrimp salad”  that Jerry was so fond of.  I seemed to have mental block there. Kathy was the only friend I ever had who cooked for me.  We went to car shows, casino’s and the openings of all the newest restaurants around.  My mind reels from all the fun things we did. We went to concerts and enjoyed all the 50′s and 60′s music together, and best of all we were ELVIS fans from the word go.  We were both lucky enough to have gotten a real actual lip to lip kiss from the King himself. All through the years we have had fun seeing who could give who the newest Elvis trivia present.  Kathy has made sure I have every single recording Elvis ever made, and I brought her back memorabilia for Graceland in Memphis when we were there.

A few yrs ago all 4 of us started noticing changes in Kathy, me the medical person esp.  There was some occas slurring in speech and slight unsteady walking and slower to do tasks.  Finally there was just no way to deny it anymore.  I forced her Dr. to give her an MRI and getting no help or satisfaction from him, I got her into see one of the north state’s best neurologist’s. He with the help of specialists in San Francisco finally diagnosed Kathy with a very rare neurological disease know as Cortical Basilar Degeneration. It’s terminal and progressively debilitating.  she’s losing the ability to use her body and her speech.  Her mind is sharp and she has good long term memory, she is losing her short term memory, and is now unable to walk without major assistance.  Kathy was recently admitted into a full care home, as the time had come where George could not handle the necessary care she was requiring.  It’s a lovely home, but not her home. Kathy always has a smile on her face even though she is fully aware of her situation.  I have only seen her cry twice in my life, once when her mother died and the night she and I packed her belongings to move the next day to the care home.  She cried for her house so wonderful, designed by her, she cried for her dogs left behind, she cried for her life slipping away without her control and no ability to stop it and all the things planned that would never be. And she cried to leave her soul mate, and only love of her life , George.

As I grow older I realize more and  more how important true friendships  are, they have to be relationships made in heaven, and there are not a lot of them,  Kathy and I have a spiritual connection.   She has always been there for me through thick and through thin, for the good times and the not so good times.  She always stood by me and never ever judged me even when she knew I was making a mistake.  She never lectured or turned away from me, she was always there.  Kathy is an extraordinary person person with a sense of humor that won’t quit, she would have to have that to put up with me all these yrs. She always has a smile despite her own situation.  I have never heard her say a bad word about anyone.  Kathy is not just my best friend, she’s my hero.